


High and down

by shipintheisland



Series: Drive to Survive 2020 season [2]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Interview, Medical use of painkiller, Monza Grand Prix 2020, not the real one but how it could be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 18:37:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21275843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipintheisland/pseuds/shipintheisland
Summary: “I would like for you to tell me a little about the races after the break, how it went for you, the nice things as well as the difficulties you faced.”“Ok. What do you want me to start with?”“Why not Monza?”Alex’s body froze immediately. Christian had adverted him about their interest towards this particular race. Not that he would blame them, the whole week had been pretty ridiculous for him and the rest of the team.The Drive to Survive journalist asks Alex to go back on the Italian Grand Prix 2020, a crazy week that eventually led to the whole team getting the flu, Max being high on medicines and every driver preparing his next year contract, with or without their current team.





	High and down

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaaand I'm back!  
I had so much fun writing the first "interview" that I wanted to try and continue after it. You don't have to read This is our day to understand this one, but if you want to, feel free to do it :D  
Before you start reading, there is a use of strong medicines in this fic, but only for medical use, just so you know.
> 
> I do not own anything, I don't claim money on this writing, please don't repost it anywhere and never show it to the people involved, thanks!  
And thank you Milkything for being a lovely beta reader, I love you <3
> 
> Enjoy!

_Why is it so cold in here?_

As goose bumps made their way to his upper arms, Alex shivered, his eyes wandering around the room. The Netflix journalist stood on the other side, pouring two glasses of water for herself and him. On his left, an old man with short white hair was adjusting the light directed at him, whistling an unknown music to his ears.

When the blond lady walked back to him, he took the glass from her hand with a smile and quietly thanked her. A few sips later, he put the glass on the floor next to his chair, careful as not to knock it over with his feet.

The journalist was back on her seat in front of him and gave a small nod to the cameraman before turning in his direction.

“Ok Alex, so we talked about the first part of the season, quite impressive for you with Red Bull, right?”

The Thai driver couldn’t stop the grin forming on his lips. _Impressive for sure!_

One podium, half of the races in fourth place, and even before the beginning of the summer break he was confirmed for the 2021 season. For a second, he felt overwhelmed with pride.

The woman returned his smile.

“I would like for you to tell me a little about the races after the break, how it went for you, the nice things as well as the difficulties you faced.”

“Ok. What do you want me to start with?”

“Why not Monza?”

Alex’s body froze immediately. Christian had adverted him about their interest towards this particular race. _Not that he would blame them, the whole week had been pretty ridiculous for him and the rest of the team._

Eyes wide, mixed feelings entering his mind, he tried to smile and nod convincingly, and the look he got in return proved his attempt was unsuccessful.

“Don’t tell them too much” had threatened his team boss, thinking about the crazy decisions they all took on the Italian track.

Alex readjusted himself on his seat. He imagined his teammate’s cheeks red with embarrassment every time someone would remind him of Monza to give himself a little boost. _Eh, worth it._

* * *

Rubbing the tip of his fingers against his temples, the team principal of Red Bull Racing let a desperate sigh out of his mouth. _I should have listened to my mother and work at dad’s factory._

A huge sniffle interrupted his thoughts and he lifted his head a little from his hands, only to be rewarded with the sight of his young Thai driver, wrapped up in a thick jumper, a tissue ready for use in his left hand. With his reddened nose and puffy eyes, Alex really was a pain to look at.

A croaked “Sorry” escaped him, so quietly Christian sought it was just a breath. _I can’t believe it…_

He lowered his gaze to his phone on the desk he was currently slumped on, his conviction of a good race week evaporating as he reminded himself that his other driver was possibly in an even worst state with travel to the hospital after a fall in the stairs back in Belgium a couple of days ago.

When a familiar vibration reached his ears, Christian picked up the device and moved his fingers on it, looking for a particular name in his contacts. A few seconds after, he was reading the text sent by his third driver Sebastian Buemi, confirming his suspicions. “I’m so sorry but it’s too late for me to come, I’m stuck in Japan for the rest of the week :( “

So, no third driver, no replacement. And there he was, Alex fighting against the flu next to him, Max on his way with a broken elbow, and only forty hours to find a solution to avoid a complete mess.

The other man in the room sneezed violently, making him and the Red Bull boss jump on their seat by the sudden noise. The sick boy now had his eyes wide open, a startled look on his face making him look much younger than he already was.

“Bless you.”

Alex gave him an apologetic smile, sniffling some more in the process.

“I will feel bedder in the next days, I promise!”

His assured tone didn’t quite make up for the nasal voice he was stuck with, and he seemed to realise it as his shoulders lowered a little, only to be back right under his ears with a shiver of cold.

Christian crossed his arms on the desk and laid his head on them with a loud groan. The engineers talking outside the office stopped in their track to offer him a compassionate look. _He really should have stayed in his dad’s factory._

* * *

“I was so sick, I was scared of going outside my hotel room and falling asleep on my way to the paddock!”

Alex laughed at the memory of George nearly carrying him in the corridor to take him to the self-service restaurant so he would eat something. _Stop being such a baby, we already have one Lando._

“They put like, one hundred packs of tissues in my motorhome, and a thick blanket. I could have stayed there the whole week, I needed nothing else.”

And he did, somehow. His whole Thursday was spent sleeping on his couch, a hand occasionally escaping the warmth of the blanket to catch a new couple of tissues. From time to time, his PR manager or a mechanic would pass by to check on him, but in the end, he really was not useful that day. The only momentous interruption he remembered was Max finally arriving to Italy, slamming the door open and claiming with an unsteady voice that he, too, needed some rest. Only at that moment had Alex understood his principal’s despair as his teammate’s glassy eyes stared blankly at the empty spot on the couch, and he slumped heavily on it, kicking his friend in the process.

“Max and I spent the whole afternoon sleeping, really it was not our most productive day.”

As the blonde journalist laughed at the remark, he let his mind go back to that moment, peaceful despite the state of the two drivers.

Being his usual talkative persona, Max had started relating his last days so far, after his fall in the stairs of the Belgium hotel. As he thoughtlessly scratched the thick bandage covering his elbow, he went through his day at the hospital, how his father convinced everyone that Max was fine enough to go for another race week, the amount of pills he had to take to be able to move his arm without screaming, to all the announced moves in the Formula 1 grid… The story had been hard to follow for the young Thai, between his clouded brain and what he supposed was the result of a strong painkiller on his colleague. _Hulk is coming back next year with the new team, Jaguar. Jaguar, I can’t believe it. I heard people say Carlos will join him, Lando’s not gonna like that!_

No way Christian would forgive him if he told anyone about Max being high on medicines nearly the whole week.

_And Kimi leaving Formula 1 for good… Never thought I would see that day coming. Neither for Lewis, although he won’t be far in an electric ca-_

_Are you leaving Red Bull?_

The question had escaped Alex before his ill brain could even think about it. With his currently hoarse voice, it had sounded more like a groan, but the worry in his tone was still noticeable. Of course, Max never answered, ignoring him with a wave of his left hand and continuing on his nonsensical story. _Typical Max._

After Hamilton had announced his departure from the first-class racing world to try a new life in Formula E, rumours had spread quickly about his possible replacement, and strangely enough, they always came back on the same person, who all but dismissed it every time he could, a weird expression on his face.

Getting his attention back on the interview, Alex fought back a giggle as he said:

“Then we had all the meetings on Thursday.”

* * *

Max stirred on his seat, his head foggy with a weird feeling of lightness. Five minutes in the meeting with the team and he couldn’t follow what the strategists and mechanics were talking about. He let his train of thoughts wander from Alex sniffling on his left to Christian and his intense stare on the data in his hands. Despite the estranged molecules obscuring his mind, pain shot from his right arm and his other hand automatically covered the bandaged elbow in a failed attempt to soothe it. He quietly hissed, his face contorting slightly.

“Hey, you’re alright?”

Alex’ voice was so low Max barely registered it. Was he okay though?

His arm was killing him, he was exhausted from the medicines and the late hour, and the phone in his pocket kept buzzing from messages he knew all too well were coming from his father. _He never stopped, did he?_ The stress he was desperately trying to avoid rushed back on him as he remembered the delicate situation he was finding himself in.

“Max?”

He jumped, surprised by the voice suddenly taking him away from his memories. _Oh, right._

“Yeah, ‘m fine…”

His voice was unsteady, _not a surprise_.

“You don’t look fine.”

“Neither do you, and you don’t see me complai-“

Pain rushed through his arm again and the young man had to stop a groan from crossing his lips, an ushered breath escaping him instead. However, he must have been louder than he planned to as a few worried looks turned to him. He tried to give them a reassured smile to stop the unwanted attention.

“You look funny.”

His attempt at murderously glaring at his teammate surely failed, seeing as the Thai was refraining a giggle. With the bags under his eyes, the redness on his tanned face and the increasingly louder snorts, Alex wasn’t giving a better image, and without understanding why, Max lost it.

His whole body shook as he laughed, not caring anymore about what happened around him. His friend’s eyes were wide open and he started laughing too, unsettled by Max’ behaviour.

“Oh god Max, not you too…”

_Was that Christian?_

A part of his brain desperately attempted to catch reality again, but the other part wasn’t as cooperative as he would have liked. The Dutch tried to suppress his laugher, but hearing Alex giggling and snorting next to him only made it worst. _Little bitch was mocking him!_

“Sorry, sorry! Wow, sorry…”

_And now his head was spinning like Seb’s car on a wet track._

His phone buzzed again as he tried to steady himself by catching the table, but he only managed to move his right arm too fast, sending a big shot of pain in his body. He was sure he whined from the sudden uncomfortable feeling. _Snap out of it, idiot!_

For what felt like a full minute, Max couldn’t focus on anything anymore. Should he take care of the pain first? Or calm himself from the new wave of anguish? Maybe he could try and listen to the meeting. _Wait, no one’s talking right now._

His brain froze when two hands grabbed his shoulders to stop his fall. He hadn’t even realised he was slowly slipping from his chair. _Maybe next time he’ll do without the painkiller, he was a mess._

“Ok, let’s stop the disaster, you’re going back to the hotel.”

A couple of giggles – _giggles, what the hell?? _– released themselves from his mouth as he registered the information.

“But the meeting…”

“Forget it, you can’t even pay attention to it like that.”

Max was certain that his team principal was trying to sound irritated, but his eyes glinted with something else. _Was he worried? _The young driver was ready to tease the older man with that when a light pull on his left arm made him get up.

Dizziness rushed on him and he would have fell face first if not for Christian’s arms holding him in place. A quick look behind him confirmed that Alex was still laughing, from what he couldn’t remember anymore. _He was so confused now._

“Sorry Christian, I tried to follow… I mean I… Wow… Was the light always so bright?”

Max let his boss guide him in the corridors, not caring about where they were going. He felt like he had just emptied a huge bottle of vodka when his feet couldn’t quite keep up with the older man’s pace.

“I know, it’s okay, don’t worry. Let’s get you back in your room so you can catch some rest and hope you’ll feel better tomorrow.”

They both knew it was unlikely, and free practice the next day would be next to impossible for him. But somehow, the look on Christian’s face, worried eyes and caring smile, made Max feel a little better.

The Dutch boy surprised himself and his team manager when his body moved on itself to snuggle against the other man’s chest, making both of them stop walking. _Oh no this is so weird._ Max’ eyes suddenly widened from shame, but he made no attempt at detaching himself from his spot, the inhibitors in his brain having clearly abandoned him for a break. _What was he thinking?!_ His cheeks burned violently when he felt a hand _patting_ the top of his head a few times, and a small laugh made its way to his ears.

“Come on, let’s get going, junkie.”

Max hid his embarrassment by shakily lowering his cap above his eyes as they started walking again. Even with the fog clouding his mind, he couldn’t stop a last thought before focusing on walking straight. _It was on moments like this that he felt he belonged here._

* * *

_No telling of Max being wasted on Thursday night, no telling of Max being wasted on Thursday night, no telling…_

Alex kept his lips firmly pressed to avoid talking more, and his brain run a marathon trying to find another subject to discuss. Fortunately, the journalist gave him an opening.

“The next day, with the free practice, we can say that it could have been worse.”

“Yeah, but it could have been so much better!”

_Gosh, it could have been NOT a catastrophe had he been more careful._

Max hadn’t even made it to FP1, Christian dismissing him even before the Dutch driver got out of his hotel room. The phone call had been clear, without any back-up driver to save them from this disaster of a weekend, Max had to rest if they wanted a small chance at getting him inside a car for qualifications. However, Alex didn’t have this chance at taking a whole day nap.

“Out of the two Red Bull drivers, I was the only one in an acceptable condition to drive.”

For sure, he was up on his two legs, and if one disregarded his ill imprinted face and the loud sniffles, he could pass as someone in a good shape.

“At least, that’s what we thought on the beginning!”

Alex gave the woman a sheepish smile, perfectly conscious of the mistake they made by putting him in the car under the hot conditions of the Italian circuit. She shook her head a little, amused.

He had survived the first round in the morning, and when he had gotten his car back in the garage, a fifth place in the grid, he really thought he felt better. _Ooooh what a mistake!_ A couple of laps in FP2 and he had understood where the rush of energy from the morning came from, as he suddenly felt exhausted and sick again, like if he had already emptied the available energy in his body. _He was left drained of all form of life._

“I was still not feeling well, and the afternoon gave the colour for the rest of the team’s weekend.”

Already feeling down with his head pounding in his skull, an abrupt sneeze had made him deviate from his trajectory in a corner and before he could even react, he crashed against the wall, but not before taking Stroll with him in the process. _Sorry again, Lance!_

His boss’ resigned face welcomed him back in the garage as he handed the younger man a tissue.

“After that, I went for a walk, thinking some fresh air would help me. I only ended up with Lando and George teasing me for an hour…”

Memories of the videos filmed at that moment came back to him. As soon as his two supposed friends came back on the paddock, they all but run to him, Lando carrying a box of tissue with a mocking smile and George openly praised his “beautifully executed destruction of an innocent man’s car”. Thankfully (or not), the look Lawrence Stroll gave them – him – when they passed the pink coloured garage was enough to stop any form of bickering on this subject. _Not that it stopped Lando from literally throwing the papers in his face._

“They gave you a hard time that week, huh?”

“A lot, yeah!”

_They were jerks and he disowned them after that._

“The team also faced a difficult week too, mostly because of me unfortunately.”

When he had come back to the Red Bull garage, the first thing he had heard was a loud sneeze. Turning his head towards the entrance of the pit lane, he had noticed a tall dark-haired woman rubbing at her nose, eliciting a few “bless you, Carol” around her. Behind her, Christian had frozen, sighed loudly and finally buried his head in his hands, mumbling to himself what could be interpreted as a prayer for the rest of the week to be erased.

Alex would have laughed at the sight, if he hadn’t known at that exact moment that his flu was spreading on the rest of the team. He could already picture the jokes and memes that would come once it would be known by exteriors. _What a mess!_

* * *

Arms folded against his chest, standing on the pit lane between the entrances of the two Red Bull garages, dark glasses hiding his wandering eyes, Christian Horner was lost deep in his thoughts. _What should he do?_

At that point, the whole team had already accepted that they would miserably face defeat every step of the week despite their two drivers insisting on the small string of hope to avoid a complete failure. He could still hear their nearly convincing enthusiasm during their little speech at lunch. But Alex’ cheeks red from fever and Max’ flinches at every movement of his arm weren’t exactly what he would call an optimistic view, and the principal knew they weren’t fooling anyone besides some journalists who took their behaviour as a proof of their mental strength. Adding to the whole picture that nearly half of the Red Bull workers had caught the young Thai’s flu, and you could easily guess why everyone felt like in a desperate situation.

With no third driver available for the weekend, and way too much to lose with a retirement from the race, Christian had had no other choice than to let the two young men climb into their respective car, hoping to at least grab some points at the end of this crazy week. And for that to happen, they just needed to get Max and Alex to finish the qualifications high on the grid like they usually did. Easy? _If only…_

It was particularly hot on the track, with the sun beaming on them all. Turning his head to the 23-marked garage, he could see the young Thai struggling to make himself comfortable in his seat, drops of sweat running on his flushed cheeks, hardly noticeable with the thick helmet on his head. Before he put his visor on place, Alex flashed him an excited grin, nearly hiding his ill state.

Christian mindlessly took his seat in front of the control panel and put his headset on, listening to Alex testing the radio, sniffling some more in the process._ As long as he didn’t go for a repeat of free practice._

As he took off his sunglasses, he turned around, eyeing the other car. Visor still up, eyes focused on the steering wheel he was strongly clutching, Max’ whole posture indicated he was ready to go. Had he blinked one second later, Christian would have missed the pained frown the driver failed to hide. He bit his lower lip a little, guiltiness growing in him to let the injured Dutch climb in that car. Max took a deep breath and focus came back on his face, like nothing happened. Christian opened his mouth, ready to call the driver on the radio and tell him to stop the car, but Max’ gaze turned to the side of the pit lane. Following the movement, the Red Bull’s boss spotted his colleague and rival, dark hair and tall figure, silver star on his shirt, Toto Wolff. The Mercedes’ principal was leaning on his control panel, eyeing curiously the Red Bull garage, looking directly at Verstappen.

Annoyance flooded Horner in a second, his eyes squinting accusingly at the tall man in a white button-up. Of course he had known that, on the second Lewis Hamilton had announced his sudden move to Formula E for next season, the Red Bull star would be under the silver spotlights and demands. And if the prospect of still being far from grasping a long-awaited championship again wasn’t already unnerving, the possibility of Max Verstappen renewing his contract in a better team, thus definitively killing their chances, was giving him white hair. The young driver had a great future facing him in the sport, and he had hoped it would have continued with Red Bull for a longer time. But, like for Daniel a couple years ago and Sebastian before him, the desire to change of scenery might be too big to stop Max from trying to leave the nest,.

His train of thought was abruptly interrupted by a loud sneeze in his ears, a sheepish “sorry” following as he recognised the voice of his other driver in his headset, followed by the Thai’s strategist’s answer.

“Alexander Albon, I swear to God if you sneeze one more time!”

Chuckles were heard from the few members of the team around him and Christian let a small smile form on his lips, shaking his head a little.

The cool bubble around them exploded only a few minutes after, when the Q3 timer came down to zero and Max’ timeset on the qualification ranking stubbornly stayed under the elimination line. Anger, shame and pain were all fighting on the Dutch’s face when he got out of his car, and no one dared to say a thing. Clutching at his elbow, he ushered a quick “Good luck for Alex” before storming outside. _Oh God…_

The engineer next to him shot him a worried glance that he had no idea how to respond to. Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to act on his slowly growing concern as he still had another driver to look for. Right now, all his focus had to turn on his Thai driver, who all but sniffled loudly when asked how he was feeling.

* * *

“Considering my state during qualifications, we could say P8 wasn’t that bad.”

Alex raised his eyebrows, not even convincing himself. Although it could have been better, he knew that having made it to Q3 was next to a miracle. When he had stepped out of his car, he had only had one thing in mind: his bed. But no, of course, his supposed friends had other plans for him, like keeping him awake to complain for hours. _He really should have considered befriending other people._

“I tried to rest as much as possible on the evening to feel better for the race.”

_I’m trying to rest so I’ll feel better for the race tomorrow. So please, guys, would you be nice for once and get OUT of my room!_

A simple and firm _No_ was the only word George had pronounced as an answer, before shooting him his best cocky smile and not moving from his spot on the mattress. Lando, who just faceplanted the floor after his sick comrade kicked him out of the bed, had then muffled something barely comprehensible against the carpet, making the other boys chuckle. The youngest of them had made no sign of wanting to move from his spot, instead choosing to self-pity loudly.

“With the news from earlier, the others couldn’t stay in place, and the McLaren drivers decided that my room, late in the evening, would be their new headquarter to talk!”

And by McLaren drivers, he had not meant Carlos, even if he had wished at that moment that it had been him.

_I’ll be replacing Carlos at McLaren for next season._

Alex could still remember Lando’s jaw heavily dropping from shock at the new. Not that he had looked any less startled, the new had been completely unexpected.

_You’re fucking kidding me!_

And George was not. As Carlos was surprisingly joining the reliving Jaguar Racing team with Nico Hulkenberg – Lance and Pierre would then laugh with a _They’re making a team with 300 starts and zero podium, ha!_ – McLaren had not hesitated one second to offer a place to yet another promising driver whose seat was at risk with the now official death of Williams. _Official death of milk and chili team too._

The milk side of said team hadn’t taken the new that well. Not that he didn’t like his fellow British friend, nor was he unhappy for that new chance for the Spanish driver, but learning that from someone else than his own teammate had hurt Lando more than the unexpected moves themselves.

As if reading his mind, the journalist asked him about that particular subject, which had made the whole internet scream in agony.

“You are good friend with Norris and Russell, how did it go when Sainz’s move was announced that day?”

“Lando was quite startled by this, as we all were with the sudden announcement, but in the end it went fine.”

_Bullshit!_

That had been the last thing Lando had thrown to the tall British that was now supposed to be his future teammate before he had stomped out of Alex’ bedroom, furiously slamming the door behind him.

George’s stupor was understandable as none of them had been expecting that kind of reaction. The tall British had then sat on the edge of the bed as Alex had simply thrown himself on the cushions with a loud groan and yet another sniffle. His headache was not likely to end soon.

It had then taken three whole weeks of George promising to be an even nicer teammate and Alex taking a mediating role between Carlos and Lando for the latter to stop angrily avoid them all. _It had felt like taming a stray cat._ But Alex had known from the beginning that his younger friend would not forgive that easily what he had seen – and still saw as of today – as a high treason from his Spanish friend, despite all the other reasons for his leaving. After all, despite everything, Max also was sometimes really bad at hiding how much he was missing his former Aussie teammate. _It went fine, my ass._

* * *

“FUCK!”

The Dutch driver slowly opened his eyes and inhaled deeply. The pain in his arm, that he had managed to avoid and ignore most of the day, came back in an instant, making him growl quietly. _So much for a DNF…_

Of course, the race couldn’t have gone as planned! He could picture his principal’s discouraged face without a problem. A few weeks ago, Red Bull was at the top of their game, today they were digging their grave with their results. Alex didn’t even get to finish the first lap when he got swept by the three cars crashing each other around him. As for Max, he had overtaken a few drivers by the end of lap 12 when his engine decided to go on strike and suddenly released a thick smoke behind him with a big boom. Startled, the driver had turned his wheel to stop on the grass, but as he had slowed down the white cloud had encircled him and he bumped in the wall, bending his wheel axe a little.

Yellow flag was already out when a few marshals came to help him jump out of the car. Max assured them a few times that he had nothing, _besides a painful elbow but that was beside the point_, and he sat down in the medical car. He let out an exhausted breath, catching up on his feelings and the world around him.

He was pissed. As short as the race had been for him, he had given everything he could, and it had started to pay off. However, he had not taken into account the possibility of the car itself letting him down. So much efforts from him and all the team, thrown into the grass in a few seconds, that was unnerving. Alex might be disappointed too, not having had the chance at anything today. He was not sure if Horner would be mad at this nonsense, of just relieved that the week was finally over.

Arriving at the paddock, Max committed to his obligations at doing interviews, pretending he was not furious and exhausted and increasingly in pain. The small Red Bull team gathered behind him seemed to notice his growing discomfort as they made their possible for the journalists to hurry up a little. And soon, he was back in his driver’s room, finally enjoying some peace. Pain shot from his right arm again and he decided that, since there was no race or event to attend to now, he could safely take his medicine again. _Hoping no one outside would come and see him after!_

His face contorted from the disgusting taste of the pill, and Max collapsed onto the small couch of the room, impatiently agitating his feet while waiting for the relieving effect of the painkiller. He quickly got bored, and as he started to feel lighter, body increasingly limp, an idea suddenly made its way to his brain.

Grabbing his elbow to avoid any involuntary move from his right arm, the Dutchman got up and made his way to his teammate’s room on the other side of the corridor, not even bothering to knock on the door before entering.

Alex was spread over his own couch, legs curled on his chest and a thick blanket covering his half-asleep body. He lazily moved his head and tiredly stared at the other young man standing in the door frame.

“The car gave up on me and I’m getting high with the painkiller.”

The short explanation made the sick Thai chuckle and he straightened up a little to pat on the free place next to him, coughing in his other hand in the process. Max followed the movement and took the place on the sofa, adjusting himself so he was comfortably laying on his back, his legs swinging on the edge. They stayed in a peaceful silence for a few minutes, before Max’ increasingly foggy brain couldn’t stop him from talking.

“I screwed up.”

A few sniffles and a tired voice answered him from under the blanket.

“Whaddaya mean? ‘Did pretty well with a broken arm.”

“Yeah but it’s not enough. And – God I’m fucking high.”

Alex laughed a little at that statement, and Max rubbed his left hand on his face, trying to stay alert a few minutes more. Alex’ head irrupted from its hiding place and he glared at him with an indescribable face, nose reddened from the flu.

“Not enough for who? Christian? He’s probably just glad this is all over, what a crazy week!”

Max hummed in response, not knowing what to add to that. A couple of silent minutes later, he finally admitted the reasons of all his stress.

“I had a talk with Torger Wolff last month.”

Alex’ body tensed, from a shiver or the statement he couldn’t tell, and the Dutch driver felt the need to explain a little further.

“He didn’t give me an offer or anything, you know? Just, we had a talk, he told me he was impressed by my results and determa… detirmane… Fuck. He was impressed. And he kept saying he was looking for someone to fill the vacant seat next year. I know what he wants, he wants me to prove I have it inside. But do I have it? I mean, what does he want more than I’ve already showed? I really want to prove what I can do, and not just to him, also to our team, but it’s getting bad, and today was even worse. I don’t even know why I’m thinking about it, I’m not even sure I want to leave the team, and if I do, do Mercedes really want to bother w-“

“Stop it!”

The sudden outburst from his Thai friend startled Max who froze on his last word, mouth still open. He inhaled some air, noticing he forgot how to breathe during his monologue. He felt exhausted, both the painkiller and the latest stress having a terrible effect on him. Alex wiggled a little to glare at him again, voice still unsteady but firm.

“Wolff is the boss of a sixth time Constructor Championship winning team. Everyone wants to work for him, and every driver is craving for that freaking seat. If he came all the way to you to let you see the opportunity, I’m sure it’s not because there’s a possibility that you might be able to fit in his car.”

Max was watching his teammate with wide eyes, his ears slowly integrating the words he pronounced as not to miss any of it. Alex sniffled loudly one more time before concluding his little speech.

“It’s because he knows you will.”

Alex was watching him with a stern look, before he readjusted himself on the couch, eyes fluttering shut as the other young man felt himself grow tired too, his mind racing with a million thoughts after that admonition. Finally, the taller boy simply added:

“Now stop thinking too much and give me the first seat for Red Bull.”

Max burst out laughing at that, his friend kicking him lightly on his side with a big smile.

“Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

They chuckled a little, sleep calmly engulfing them.

Max woke up moments later, still feeling groggy from the medicine and his weird position on the couch, when he noticed something moving next to him and Alex. Lifting his gaze without completely opening his eyes, he saw his team principal, Christian, adjusting the blanket over them, mumbling a quiet “will be the death of me” while glaring at the two sleeping bodies. The older man gently put a hand on Alex’ forehead, sighing in relief at what was probably a lack of fever, before turning to give a look at the other one, kneeling before him and smiling when he saw the Dutch sleepily following his movements.

“You’re okay?”

Christian whispered so quietly Max barely heard it. He shrugged a little and gave him a small but reassuring smile, nodding a little as an answer.

“Good. Sleep now.”

Christian got up, shooting him one last smile, then adjusted the blanket over Alex’ shoulders, softly patting his hair when the young Thai wiggled a little in his sleep. As he left the room, Max let himself doze off again, putting all his questionings aside for later and ignoring what he was sure was the sound of a picture being taken.

* * *

“In the end, we had known from the beginning of the week that it was going to be a mess, at least it gave us more time to rest after the race!”

Alex smiled sheepishly at the blond journalist, not knowing what to add to that insane story. She shifted on her seat, crossing her legs before addressing him again.

“The next week, a lot of announcements were given about contracts for 2021. Were you scared for your seat?”

“Oh well, I don’t remember, what was confirmed at that moment?”

“After Spa, we got…”

She took a folder on the chair next to her and flipped a little through it, tongue sticking out of her mouth while Alex patiently waited, trying to remember who had moved where right after the summer break. The blond woman suddenly pointed at something on one of the papers.

“There! We got Russell at McLaren, Perez at Haas replacing Grosjean, Sainz at the new Jaguar, Calderon as a full-time driver for Alfa Romeo, and the official opening of the Prema F1 team. That makes a lot of new contracts in a weekend, how were you feeling about that? And what about your teammate, Verstappen?”

Alex pursed his lips slightly, eyes wandering somewhere to the ceiling, trying to find his words.

“I’d say… I think I was feeling fine, you know? Everyone was moving, but for me, besides the crazy race week in Monza, it was all going fine. I was bringing good results to the team, I still am, and I think that’s what everyone wanted from me.”

Smirking a little, he remembered Helmut Marko’s face when he came back fourth or better. The old man would stare at him with a ridiculously small smile and nod once, or twice when he got a podium. Pierre had assured him that he never saw the Red Bull advisor so pleased during his own short time in the team.

“However, I was impressed by the amount of changes in the grid, I knew the new regulations would disrupt it a little, but not that much!”

Alex raised his eyebrows at that statement, the journalist nodding in agreement.

“As for Max…”

After his private revelation about his possible opportunity with Mercedes, his teammate never came back to him to talk about this subject. He knew his friend needed time to think and then act accordingly, something he was sure was not in his habits, as the Dutchman was more used to do the reverse. And Alex quickly got involved with the stormy relationship between Lando and his soon-to-be former teammate Carlos, the youngest still firmly holding a grudge against anyone involved with Jaguar Racing, his future teammate and Spain in general. _He just needed time too._

“We didn’t really have the time to talk about all of this, but I’m sure he was not stressed over anything.”

_Liar, liar, pants on fire!_

Alex didn’t want to put his friend’s discomfort under the light of the cameras, but the memory of Max in the airport after Singapore was still fresh in his mind. Alex had been talking with his mother while waiting for their plane, when he had spotted a familiar cap near the huge windows. Max had been leaning on a bench, anxiously agitating a few papers in Ricciardo’s face who had been trying to calm his friend with a comforting smile. Bribes of their discussion had come to the Thai’s ears, letting him understand that Mercedes had finally made their offer and that Max had not yet decided what to do with it.

Clearly, the Australian driver must have found the right words to give to his younger friend, as a few days later Max had called him to give him his final decision. _He was glad to be trusted enough to know about that weeks before anyone else – Daniel aside of course._

“Even if he was, he didn’t have to worry for long as he signed a contract with Mercedes before Sochi.”

The lady in front of him squinted her eyes, looking for something on his face as he raised an eyebrow, not understanding her reaction.

“How were you feeling about this?”

Her insistence on the “you” made Alex tense a little. _Does she think I’m jealous?_ The young Thai chuckled at the thought.

“I was very happy for him, he deserved that seat more than anyone for me. And personally, it gave me a boost, because that meant Max would not be around anymore for people to compare me to. I felt like I was in charge now!”

Alex couldn’t stop himself from laughing, and he had to put a hand in front of his mouth to calm down quickly. This was Max’ fault, as the Dutchman had made a point to tell everyone in the team that his “apprentice” Alex was now ready to take the bull by the horns – _literally _– making Christian question their sanity once again. _Alex was sure their boss would miss the young men’s shenanigans._

And Alex knew he would miss it too. But he knew better than to think he would not have some fun with his newly announced future teammate.

“At least I thought I was in charge, until Sebastian Vettel entered the garage in Russia!”

_Oh yes, the next year would be fun, he had no doubt about it._

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo, hope you liked it!  
Don't hesitate to leave a comment and let me know what you think!  
PS : I love Lando, he's a sweet baby that needs to be protected at all costs  
PS 2 : I know Lewis said he didn't want to go to FE for now, but shhhhhhh it's fiction


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